Introspection vs. Self-Criticism: The Mind Trick We All Fall For

It easy to confuse introspection and self-criticism. On the surface, they look like the exact same thing. We look inward, we see a flaw, and we think we are doing the hard work of self-awareness. But if you look closer, they couldn't be more different.

Here is how I see it:

Introspection is about finding the actual problem, realizing what went wrong, and then actively looking for the reason and the solution. It is functional. It looks forward.

Self-criticism, on the other hand, is a completely different beast. It’s often just an emotional reaction to doing something wrong. You acknowledge the mistake, but most of the time, you do it loudly in front of someone else. Think about it—how often do we beat ourselves up in front of a friend or a partner? Why do we do that?

We do it because that person immediately consoles us. They tell us, "No, you're fine, don't be so hard on yourself." And just like that, we feel relieved.

But notice what happens next: nothing changes.

It is just a mind trick. It’s a clever loop your brain uses to keep you exactly the same way you are, allowing your mind to relax without actually going through the uncomfortable, painful process of changing. Your uncontrolled mind is your biggest enemy.

The Bottom Line:

Introspection saves energy. It acts as a trigger that puts your brain to work, forcing it to start thinking about doing better. Self-criticism just wastes your energy. It tricks your brain into thinking, "Hey, look at how bad I feel, I must be a nice guy after all." It gives you a free pass to hit pause, telling you, "Relax for now, we will start again after some time."

Don't fall for the trick.

मन के भीतर की भीड़।

संसार में शायद कुछ ही लोग होंगे जिन्हें भीड़ से प्रेम होगा। लगभग सभी भीड़ से दूर समय व्यतीत करना चाहते हैं। चाहें कुछ पल ही क्यों न मिलें। जब कोई मानसिक रूप से थकान महसूस करता है तो डॉक्टर भी  यही सुझाव देते हैं कि कुछ दिन भीड़ भाड़ से दूर समय ब्यतीय कीजिये।

लेकिन भीड़-भाड़ से दूर जाके हर किसी को आराम नहीं मिल पाता। शांत जगह भी बैठ के मन के भीतर अशांति रहती है। क्या हम इसका कारण जानते हैं?

इसका कारण है हमारे मन के अंदर की भीड़ जो हमारा साथ नहीं छोड़ती।

लेकिन!!! मन के भीतर की भीड़❔❔❔ ये कैसी भीड़ है?

सामान्यतः बाहरी भीड़ में परिचित ब्यक्ति भी होते हैं और अपरिचित ब्यक्ति भी होते है। किंतु मन की भीड़ में वही लोग होते हैं जिनसे हम परिचित होते हैं। वो ब्यक्ति अपने बिचारों से सकारात्मक तथा नकारात्मक दोनो प्रकार से प्रभावित करते हैं। और हमारे निर्णयों तथा हमारी सोच को प्रभावित करते हैं। हम कई बार खुद को स्वतंत्र करना चाहते हैं किंतु अपने व्यक्तित्व की दुर्बलता के कारण खुद को उनके विचारों से, और इस सोंच से की हमारे कुछ करने से वो क्या सोंचेंगे, से अलग नहीं कर पाते। हम लोग उनके अच्छे या बुरे बिचारों को खुद से चिपका लेते हैं और फिर एकांत जगह मन की शांति की तलाश करते रहते है ठीक वैसे ही जैसे कि कस्तूरी मृग अपने उदर में कस्तूरी लिए कस्तूरी की तलाश में भटकता रहता है। और वो उसे कभी नहीं मिलती।

तो प्रश्न ये उठता है कि समाधान क्या है? कैसे मिले एकांत? कैसे करें इस भीड़ को दूर?

मन की भीड़ से दूर जाने का भी तरीका भी वही है जो बाहर की भीड़ से दूर जाने का है। साधन युक्त व्यक्ति भीड़ को दूर करने के लिए भीड़ से दूर चला जाता है। दुनिया की भीड़ को दूर करने के लिए आपके पास साधन का होना जरूरी है वरना ना चाहते हुए भी आपको रोज बस, मेट्रो में धक्के खाना पड़ता है औऱ ये चलता रहता है क्योंकि आपके पास विकल्प नहीं होता। आपको अपना जीवन चलाने के लिए कार्य करना पड़ता है। साधनवान अपनी साउंडप्रूफ महंगी कार में शीशे चढ़ाता है तथा आफिस में भी एक अकेले के केबिन में बैठता है और समय समय पर छुट्टियां मनाने जाता है। लेकिन मन की भीड़ से शायद वो भी न बच पाता हो। क्योंकि मन की दशा में ये साधन काम नही आते। 

मन में एकांत के लिए जो साधन आवश्यक है वो है एक शक्तिशाली व्यक्तित्व। शक्तिशाली व्यक्तित्व के लिए कुछ घटक है जिनके विकाश से व्यक्तित्व का निर्माण किया जा सकता है।

1. आत्मविश्वास- अपने निर्णय तथा अपनी सोंच पर विश्वास होने पर ही हमारे अंदर आत्मविश्वास का निर्माण होता है। और वो विश्वास हमे तब प्राप्त होता है जब हम ये जानते हैं की हम सही है। हमारी सोंच और हमारा निर्णय सकारत्मक है तथा किसी को नुकसान पहुचने की सोंच से प्रेरित नहीं है। ये हमारे स्वयं के उत्थान के लिए है।

2. समभाव- समभाव से तात्पर्य है कि हम सभी के प्रति समान भाव रखते है। एक ओर जहां हम अपनी स्वतंत्रता तथा अपने मौलिक अधिकारों के प्रति सजग है वही दूसरी ओर हम इस बात का ध्यान रखते हैं कि हम दूसरे प्राणियों के मौलिक अधिकारों तथा स्वन्तंत्रता में सेंध नही लगा रहे।

3. समाज के प्रति संतुलित सोंच- किसी ने सच कहा है कि यदि सभी आपसे खुश है तो आप जरूर दुखी ब्यक्ति हैं। इसलिए हमें ये ध्यान रखना चाहिए कि हम सभी को खुश नहीं रख सकते। लेकिन ये मान लेना भी गलत है कि उपरोक्त कथन का उल्टा , यानी कि सभी को दुखी करने से आप सुखी हो सकते है। समाज में आपके अधिकार भी है और दायित्व भी। इसलिए समाज के प्रति आपकी सोंच का संतुलित होना आवश्यक है। 

उपरोक्त घटकों का सही समन्यवय आपके व्यक्तित्व को शक्तिशाली बनाता है तथा आपके मन के भीतर के निरर्थक बिचारों से मुक्ति देता है। आपको ये नहीं सोचना पड़ता कि आपके संबंध में को क्या सोंच रहा है, क्योंकि आप पहले से ही सबका समन्यवय कर चुके होते है और धीरे धीरे आपका ब्यक्तित्व ही उस आधार पे निर्मित हो जाता है।

अंत तक मेरा लेख पढ़ने के लिए धन्यवाद। कृपया करके इसे अपने मित्रों के साथ शेयर करे। अपने कीमती comments भी करें। और यदि आप मेरे ब्लॉग को फॉलो करेंगे तो मुझे अति प्रसन्नता होगी। और आपतो जानते ही हैं कि प्रसन्नता बांटने से प्रसन्नता मिलती है।

नमस्कार।

Excuse the excuses.

Image Credit: https://pixabay.com/

You can judge the character of a man/woman by his response when he/she face the failure. You can not believe a man who makes excuses for his failure or held others responsible for that. The man who takes responsibility for his actions and takes lessons from his failures is always respected.

But why people make excuses? They make excuses because of their inability to conquer the situation and inability to do necessary work before the situation arise. First, they make excuses to themselves, because they don't want to leave their comfort zone. So, those excuses keep them from going after their goal. When the damage is done they make excuses to the world.

Whatever is stopping you chasing your goals, whatever is stopping you leaving your comfort-zone is an excuse. These excuse will have serious repercussion if we don't change. So, before things go out of hands, you need to change. remember-

YOUR LIFE DOES NOT GET BETTER BY CHANCE. IT GETS BETTER BY CHANGE.                                                                                                                                           -Someone in Ted Talk

And a humble request. PLEASE FOLLOW and SHARE my blog and post.. And give your precious comments..

Let them play?

Any sport is for enjoyment. That should not be taken as war. Sports should be played with the spirit of game and they should be enjoyed with the same spirit.

Players are not the warriors. They are the players who are trying their best to perform and win then game for their team and the nation. When you buy ticket or watch them play on TV, it doesn't mean they are your slave or you are their master. When you throw bad remarks on them look at your self. Have you always been a winner at every aspect of your life. Have you always been honest with your family or with the society. The answers in most of the cases will be "NO".

Then why so much madness when any team could not supercede the efforts of other team.

Just asking.

Please watch game. Enjoy the performance. Don't expect players to fight war for you. They are not loosing by choice. They all give their best. Sometime efforts of one team supercede the efforts of other team and sometime superseded by others. Its just a game. Don't loose calm. Enjoy.

Please share and comment. Don't take personal.

The existence/nature is not biased.

Stop whining, complaining and staying in the comfort zone. Come out of it and start working.
Anyone can be biased against you but this nature/existence. It gives us everything. We can extract or gather what ever we need to become what we want. This nature gives us all the opportunity with the assurance that our efforts won't be lost. They will give results for sure. But if we are so habitual to live in the dark, and we won't do anything which doesn't suits us. Then we will reach nowhere.
This attitude has not done anything good till now. Neither it will be beneficial in future. If you really want some change then first thing is to avoid this habit of enjoying the rut.
Yes, If you are not doing anything to come out of your rut then somewhere you are enjoying it.
You have no right to blame anyone else but yourself. So you better come out of your comfort zone, and act.
Wish you all the best.

And a sincere request to please like, share and comment. And please follow.

Success

            

         DISCLAIMER: OPPOSITE IS ALSO TRUE.

Success is not about having loads of money, great career. Success is not about pleasing others or gaining praise from others. Success is also not having unlimited power.

Success is understanding that what you want and achieving that. It doesn't matter whether your achievements are big or small. Whether others are praising or not. If those achievements can bring satisfaction to you then you are successful. you don't need anybody's certification.

All you need to listen to your conscience consciously. Because you must have seen people with big achievements with a sad face. You must have also seen a poor laborer with a smiling face after getting a reward at the end of the day.

Don't run behind the goal set by others for you. You can not fulfill their expectation, you just need to pursue what is going to make you happy. Others can feel happy by earning a huge package while their parents are struggling at home with their old age, but there are chances that you can be happy only if you are serving your parents in the time when they need you. 

I am not saying that others are wrong. Big money and living in a big city is their goal. They are doing what they want. But you don't need to go to what the world think is right. Go with your reason. 

So, Just in case, after all the endeavor, you are not feeling life in you. Just sit for a while and INTROSPECT. Then, march towards your very personal journey. you will smile for sure.

Happy forever..

NEVER BE THE VICTIM OF NEGATIVITY AGAIN. Be a child.

Yes. The Line is very catchy, and it is easy and very much possible. Many people won't agree with me, many will think that I will talk about meditation technique or some will say that it is not possible.

Though I said above that it is easy and very much possible but now I will say that it is provided you practice. In the beginning, it is difficult but in few days you will be in paradise where there is nothing like boredom or purposelessness.

But how?

To achieve this I will ask you think about a small kid. Have you every seen a kid who is bored or purposeless? In a normal family where kids are given the attention which is necessary you will see a kid is always busy and never bored. So everyone would like to be like a kid that even if he/she doesn't have anything great to do he/she always fresh and does not feel bored or purposeless. So I will tell you what I observe watching is kid.

1. Kids always CURIOUS. but you will say that kids are curious because everything is new for them, how can a grown man be like this? I will say that it is the limitation of your thoughts that you can not find anything new to learn. Can you confidently say that you know everything? I think the answer is "no". So to make this-this EASY for you I will re-phrase this task.

You always have few things in your mind which you want to learn or you want to know about but you cannot work on them because of your busy life. So, whenever, by luck, you a find yourself bore or have nothing to do you can use this time to work on your these interest and you will feel that time has flown in a blink of an eye.

2. Kids keep them in a moment. This keeps them fresh. The Past or Future dwelling may be amusing but this comes with some desire to be in those moments again or if you think about future then you want to be there fast. But being in a moment does not get you in any desires.

3. Kids DON'T JUDGE PEOPLE. They know who are their family and who are strangers. But they don't judge all the time. If you smile they will smile back or If you don't give a positive look they don't give a damn to you. This third quality is to avoid the negative thoughts. If you are judging people and care about unnecessary people, they come and capture your mind when you have free time and you can not focus on above two things.  

People can give you a list but I think these are three basic and simple things which are necessary to be happy and engaged and to not feel bored.

Obviously, this requires some practice. After some time other things won't matter at all. In the beginning it difficult because mind feeds on negative thoughts. I don't know why our mind like to gather all the things which make us feel miserable. But little practice can help us a lot.

All the best. Be happy forever.

OM Namha Shivay.

Three people

There are three kinds of people.

One, who has nothing and will show off like the whole world works on their instructions. But believe me, nobody believes them. everybody know what are they. They also have the lowest self-esteem. 

Second, those who really are something and they don't mind bragging about what they have. And finally the third kind...

They will never tell anything to anybody, they will never brag about what they have and even the closest to them will never know their girth. They work silently and have no interest in people knowing what they are. I think this is the best kind. There is nothing in making unnecessary noise. 

EGO v/s SELF RESPECT

                                                

EGO

The focus of a person who is under the influence of EGO is always set on others. He always thinks about others. He always wants others to care about him and respect him. Even if others care about him and respect him they never satisfy his EGO. Because Ego can never be satisfied.

                                                     

SELF RESPECT

A person with self-respect always focus on his actions and behavior. He always set high standards for himself. He always do such things and practice such behavior which keeps his inner at peace, always.

Do your Habits complements your Goals????

What we want, is in our control. But what we will get, can not always be in our control. Why? Because most of the time we only wish to get something or to achieve something. But our actions are contrary.

There is a difference between wishing for something and wanting something. When we wish for anything there is no force in it. We just see something and start to wish to get that. But when we want then there is some force in it. We are willing to work for that and make necessary changes in our lifestyle. If you are only wishing then you can not get that. Whatever type of life we are living is depend on the type of habits or lifestyle we have developed for ourselves. To bring any kind of change in your life you have to make changes in your habits.
Thinking about changing the life without changing habits is nothing but fooling oneself. I have experienced this for all my life. Whenever I would want any thing which I did not have at that moment I had to make changes in my habits accordingly.

So, If you have plan for something big, take a look on your habits. It should be a part of your planning to achieve your goals. If your habits are not according to your goal then make provision for amending them accordingly to accelerate the process..

When we see a successful person we only see the result. We don't see that what he has done to get that success. Normal people only wish to be like him. But, those who really want to be like them they try to know their life style, habits and things which they do differently from the others.

This one quote which I heard in Ted talk is relevant here.

YOUR LIFE DOESN'T GET BETTER BY CHANCE, IT GETS BETTER BY CHANGE.

SO, I wish you all the best. Good luck.. And please share with your friends, comment and follow my blog.
Thanks a lot....

Gift from God!!!

God is showering his love and care, but need to be open and receptive

When we succeed, we feel happy and thank God. When we fail, we feel sad and question the supreme. Sometimes we say that the almighty is testing us or sometimes we feel that he don't want us to be happy. But remember happiness and sorrow are not made in his factory. These are just two emotions. Emotions have been developed by humans over the period.

Actually what God gives us is not happiness or sorrow, these are power to execute our plans and consciousness to choose them to do honestly. When we are honest with our duties and ourselves we tend to attract positive energy and positive results. Positive energy and positive results bring us happiness. When we become the victim of our own distraction we are left with nothing but to condemn and question the supreme. But instead of condemning supreme that would we the time to introspect, time to find where did we not utilize the GIFT FROM GOD in the way we were supposed to use.

So misery is not the thing which God gives us, for that we ourselves are responsible. But for success and happiness, we need to be grateful for the Supreme Energy and for the whole existence for sure.

If you agree with my views then please like, share, tweet or +1... 

Subscribe if you like my posts...